Death of a Beloved Dog

How do we do it? after years of loving a pet so deeply, we reach that point in the road where they must leave us. How can it be that my bowwow has to go? If you are a pet owner, you’ve probably decided not to read this, the aversion away from even having to contemplate this feels like the sensible solution!

Well, okay. But this day does arrive. And when it did for my angel-in-fur, I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to give him a good death. He’d given us so much joy with his presence, I wanted to be as present and available for him as I possibly could.

Several years prior, I’d heard a piece of advise that I’d put into practice throughout Harvey Keitel’s life (yes this was my dog’s name): each month or so, think of this inevitable event, just for half a minute: ‘one day, not so very far away, this dear animal will die’. It is like putting savings into a spiritual piggy-bank, if you like, and so, when that fateful day does come, you’ve got some things in your psyche which can buoy you through a little better….

Twelve years of flinging, bounding, leaping, surfing, deeply sleeping, defending boundaries from possums, and the divine dog took his last breaths, and left this world.

The hardest part of it was when I first learned he was terminally ill. I had to ready myself for what was to come. It seemed that the fear of grief was harder than the actual experience of it. We all tend to fear the sensation of pain and suffering, and we do many things to avoid what we feel may overwhelm us.

What is so surprising in the aftermath, is that all that joy that he bought into my life is still swimming around inside me. I somehow felt that it would evaporate with his ending, But no, my heart is full with him. It is also true that I’ve has some big waves of grief - of course! But I still bumble through the day singing a little song and smiling as I think of his hilarious character, and there is the enjoyment also, of not having to race home to him tapping his paw for his turn at the day, with a side order of chicken.

Vale little dude. I loved you.